BreakingSenate Reaches Bipartisan Agreement That AI 'Probably Knows How To Vote But Definitely Shouldn't' DebunkedOpenAI's Latest Pivot Is The Most Exciting Pivot Yet, Says Company With No Remaining Founders ReportedContinental Europe Once Again Bested By Argentine Beef, Reports Our Man In The Drawing Room Allegedlytiktok is back babes the meltdown was so brat BreakingSenate Reaches Bipartisan Agreement That AI 'Probably Knows How To Vote But Definitely Shouldn't' DebunkedOpenAI's Latest Pivot Is The Most Exciting Pivot Yet, Says Company With No Remaining Founders ReportedContinental Europe Once Again Bested By Argentine Beef, Reports Our Man In The Drawing Room Allegedlytiktok is back babes the meltdown was so brat
May 5, 2026

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HOW TO SEND US A STORY · Tip submission guidelines · “We read real news. We redraw it. You can help.”

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You read a real news story today and thought, this is a Crayon Press story. You’re probably right. Send us the link.

What we need.

  • A link to the original news story from a real, named publication. Reuters, AP, Bloomberg, BBC, your local paper, The Onion is OK as a reference but not as a source.
  • One sentence on why it should be redrawn. “Because the headline is already absurd” is a perfectly valid sentence.
  • Optional: which reporter’s voice you think it fits. (Hank for politics, Mira for tech, Bramwell for world affairs, lil_glitch for internet, Veritas for defense, Briggs for crime, Chad for tech CFO, Greta for climate, Madge for everything else.)
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What we don’t need.

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  • Anything we couldn’t fact-check on the underlying real story. The satire can be invented; the news has to be real.

The form.

(Form goes here.) The submission form is being wired up. While we get the plumbing right, you can email tips directly to the desk: tips@thecrayonpress.test with the source URL in the body and “TIP” in the subject line.






Note: this temporary form opens your email client with the submission. We’ll replace it with a proper form once the plumbing is wired (WPForms Lite recommended).

What happens next.

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  2. We assign it to one of the cartoon reporters whose voice fits.
  3. The reporter writes the piece. The piece runs.
  4. If you sent us your email and we used your tip, you get a quiet thank-you. If we didn’t use your tip, you get nothing, and that’s the deal.

The Crayon Press — Real news. Redrawn in crayon.

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