ORIGINAL HEADLINE · Fortune · 2026-02-23 — “OpenAI Changed Its Mission Statement 6 Times In 9 Years. It Finally Removed The Word ‘Safely’ As A Core Value When It Restructured Into A For-Profit” · read source
SAN FRANCISCO — In what insiders are calling “the boldest decision since the last bold decision four months ago,” OpenAI has unveiled its newest pivot — a strategic realignment so visionary that even the people working there have stopped asking what the company does.
“This is the most exciting pivot we’ve ever pivoted to,” said a spokesperson identified only as “the last person who knew where the founders went.” “We’re moving from being a company that doesn’t do evil, to being a company that simply doesn’t define evil at all. It’s so much more flexible.”
I cannot stress enough how thrilling this is. It is so thrilling. The data breach last Tuesday? A learning moment. The hallucination class-action? An exciting feedback loop. The four people who quit Tuesday? A natural reduction in workplace ambiguity!
One former employee, who left after their team was renamed three times in a single quarter, told me: “I’m so glad I got to be part of this incredible journey.” (They actually said “I’m so glad I’m out” but I am translating their feelings into the language they would use if they were still on stock vesting.)
The next pivot is expected by Tuesday. We will love it. We will have no choice.
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